Guys and Dolls: Smokin’ hot unrated edition! Now with sixteen more hours of brothel dances that went too far for theaters! (God, why did this have to happen?)

My school went on a field trip a while back (it’s the summer, so it was a while back) to see the musical Guys and Dolls first of all, I’ve seen and loved the original film, but what they did to it was awful. I won’t piss about it for too long (no opening song, way sluttier dances at the gentlemen’s club and no scene where they bet their souls, they replaced it with time) but even with all this shit dumbed down to the calibur of brainpower the average fourteen year old could have, people still hated it. Did I say people? Fuck me if I did, I mean the teenagers hated it, and even if I’m a teenager I can still hate teenagers. But something that made me more angry is that when the kids complained to the teachers about the play the teachers actually said the would try and change some things for the next year.

Why the hell are we bending over backwards to shove a descent movie up our ass holes so it can be covered in a nice shining coat of shit that the retards who think it’s funny will watch, as if seeing an askewed as hell version of a work of fucking art is teaching them about the old times. We shouldn’t change things because we want stupid people to enjoy it, if stupid people wanna enjoy something that requires intelligence to understand, they need to read a book or get some freaking brain food or listen to Iron Maiden so they can! All we’re doing by dumbing things down is telling them it’s okay to be a mindless idiot, it’s okay to destroy art and it’s okay to irreverantly steal and mame someone’s masterpiece. “But Danny, are we really hurting them that much if we slut up the brothel dance just a smidge?” Yes! If you have to turn the opera house into Johnny Bling-Bling’s fucking masterbatorium to get him to go there, then you have made a wrong turn at Common Fucking Sense Boulevard.

Tags: brothel, change, Common Sense Boulevard, Frank Sinatra, Guys and Dolls, Iron Maiden, Italian, Johnny Bling-Bling, old movies, opera house, Phantom Of the Opera, Polka dot tie, stupid kids, whores